"To Be or Not to Be?"~ A Hamlet Perspective on Friendship

Last year in my AP English class we did a whole unit on Hamlet. For those of you who don't know the story of Prince Hamlet, it's about a young prince who finds out that his father was poisoned by his uncle. Throughout the whole play, Hamlet struggles with his inability to act to save more lives and to reveal who the villain is (everyone in the kingdom thinks that King Hamlet was bitten by a snake). All that he does is complain that he can't act.

While reading this, I thought to myself, "He's such a pansy! Why can't he just do something? He would save so many lives if he did." I wondered how anyone could be as ignorant and cowardly as Prince Hamlet.

Then I had to take a step backwards.

Just recently, I had a bad day with my best friend. In a fit of anger, I sent her an email telling her exactly what she was doing wrong and how I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. She eventually got back to me, telling me that she was questioning our friendship, that she was sick of my problems and my confidence issues, and that she didn't want to be around me anymore. It broke my heart.

What do these two seemingly entirely different situations have in common?

Rather than acting, I complained. First I felt heart broken, then I was sad, then angry, then I blamed her. It wasn't until I took time to create a list of all the things both of us had been doing wrong that I saw that I was to blame. Like Hamlet, I was beating myself up over not doing anything, over letting her slip out of my hands without even knowing it. Yet, I still did nothing.

I went to my Heavenly Father in tears, trying to sort out my emotions about myself and how I had managed to let this happen. My answer was unexpected.

The reason why things had been rough was because I was not trying hard enough. I was holding onto emotions and pain that had happened long ago, not only not forgiving her, but not forgiving myself. I had foolishly convinced myself that I was justified in holding a grudge, that I was justified in telling her everything she was doing wrong, when really, it was me doing things wrong.

In truth, we are both children of God and too precious to allow those kinds of emotions to run our lives. I've learned a valuable lesson on friendship:

a) When you're a friend, you serve
b) When you're a friend, you console
c) You love
d) You care
e) You have empathy
f) Most importantly, you ACT

This year's theme seems so appropriate. "Be Thou Strong and Courageous," it reads. That's something you and I both need to work on. Not only do we have to have the courage to stand up for ourselves, we have to have the courage to make relationships work, to make friendships last.

Like Hamlet, I've discovered that my inability to act is what keeps me from reaching my potential as a person. It's all in how you act and if you act.

Challenge: Think of a relationship you  have that is broken or needs help; think of something you need to fix in your life. Ask your Heavenly Father what you can do to fix it, and when you receive your answer, act. Don't say that you'll act. Act.

Picture from: http://www.englishunitplans.com/HamletSkullHCSealous.jpg