An Apology and a Lesson About Losing

Firstly, I apologize. I haven't had time to add more writing to this blog, and I really do want to continue it.

Secondly, a lesson about losing.

For my high school, I was the English Sterling Scholar this year. That required me to put together a portfolio of every single thing I've done since 10th grade, and it also required me to get several interviews throughout the whole thing.

When I first interviewed, the best lesson I've ever had in life came to mind. Go in as yourself and you won't regret a thing. So I did. I went in, and I was me; purely and simply me.

As the morning rolled around, we got the news. I was a finalist! I got to compete at the State level!

Time passed, I had my state interview, and about a week later I had a revelation. I wasn't going to win it. For some strange reason, this hit me incredibly hard, and yet I still hoped for it.

When we finally made it to the State level, they filed us onto the stage. Suddenly they were announcing one runner up then another! It was going too fast, and I wasn't ready. Then I realized that it was time for the winner to be announced. I closed my eyes for a moment, squeezing my fists together. The announcer read, "This scholar was a student body officer." Immediately, my heart fell into my stomach. I wasn't even close to being a student body officer. The worst part was having to stand up there and fake a big, bright grin. But I saw it coming. I just didn't want it to.

From this I learned a very valuable lesson. When I faked that grin and pretended that I was completely happy for everyone else, real, honest happiness flooded through me. I discovered how to be happy for other people and that you don't have to win to be happy about what you've done. I now have been in both places; I've won when I was expected to lose, and I've lost when I was expected to win. To have such a great contrast is the biggest blessing in my life.

Like Thomas Edison, I found 2000 ways to not make a lightbulb. And it's been the greatest experience of my life.